What Is BIFF—and Why Should You Care?

In the world of co-parenting, you might hear the term “BIFF” and immediately picture a certain bully from Back to the Future. You know the one. The guy who says things like, “What are you lookin’ at, butthead?”
Ironically, that Biff is exactly the opposite of what BIFF is meant to be.

BIFF is a communication method for high-conflict situations—especially useful when emotions tend to hit 88 miles per hour. It was created to help you communicate clearly without starting a verbal time warp back to the same argument you’ve had 47 times already.

Here’s how it works:

·        B = BRIEF
Think 2–4 sentences, not a novel. If it needs chapters, it’s too long.

·        I = INFORMATIVE
Stick to facts only. No emotion, no sarcasm, no “just so you know…” energy. This is not the place for subtle jabs or courtroom closing arguments.

·        F = FRIENDLY
Neutral and polite. Not best-friends-forever friendly—just “I’m a reasonable adult” friendly.

·        F = FIRM
Clearly state your position and move on. No lectures. No advice. No invitations for a sequel.

Using BIFF isn’t easy—and it’s definitely not a magic fix—but when used consistently, it can reduce emotional blowups, set boundaries, and keep conversations focused on actual issues instead of personal attacks.‍ ‍

Practical Tip

Before firing off a response that sounds like “Hello? Hello? Anybody home?”, pause. Run your message through a parenting app filter—or yes, even an AI tool like ChatGPT—to translate it into proper BIFF form. Your future self will thank you.

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For more information on BIFF and its creator, Bill Eddy, LCSW, visit www.highconflictinstitute.com.

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Great Scott… communication doesn’t have to be this hard. 🚗💨

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